i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
