try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize