Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize