all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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