he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
