I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Drake has all the answers
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
