dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
A bitchslap is in order.
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