Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
