Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
