New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
