In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
