God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
