That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
