ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i think my cat just said my name.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
