i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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