i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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