doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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