Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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