Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
