I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
