I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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