Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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