on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
