Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No subtext here. People are naked.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
