this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
