well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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