every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
