forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
