Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
