does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Houston, we have a blender
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
