The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The beer is more important than you right now.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
