i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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