She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
