Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
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