is your mom at the bar?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I have fence marks all over my body
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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