I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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