i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize