Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
