I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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