all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
