very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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