don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
