just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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