Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize