i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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