You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
