i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
