Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
