I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
