Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
