i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
