Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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