He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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