yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
