Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
