Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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