Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize