The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
being pregnant is like rehab
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
