wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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