I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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