slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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