Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
