fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
