We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize