Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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