im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize