Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
