you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
