Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Randomize
