Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
